Considering all that is going on with me regarding my marriage, I have remained surprisingly centered, calm and strong these past few days. This is largely due to my recent commitment to "let go and let God". Or in the words of Deepak Chopra, "The Law of Detachment".
I have accepted the hand I've been dealt, or the situation as it is in this moment. Trust me, this is no easy task for me. Just a few years ago, "accepting" a situation such as this would have been impossible for me. I used to believe that to get the outcome you desire, you must "make it happen".
I've always been a faithful person, growing up with a grandmother who was Spanish Catholic and constantly praying with her Rosaries, and therefore have always believed in the power of faith and prayer. However, over the last couple years, I started broadening my approach to spiritualism and have become an avid reader of writings on inspiration, living in spirit, meditation and the like. So when I began searching the internet for any hope on how I can deal with my flailing marriage, I came across Laura Munson's essay in the NY Times. It struck me instantly when I read her words "to end suffering, is to end wanting". It was in that moment that all my readings, my faith in God, my desire to end my own suffering converged and I knew what I must do. I must accept. I cannot change what has been done, and I cannot change my husband's words or feelings. I cannot make him love me if he doesn't. I cannot make him stay if he wants to leave. All I can do is not let this take me down. Once I realized this, I became calm and peaceful and resolved to detach myself from the outcome of this problem. Believe me when I say that Deepak Chopra delivers some pretty powerful thoughts.
In Chopra's Law of Detachment, he states that there is "wisdom in uncertainty". That in order to acquire anything in the physical universe, we must relinquish our attachment to it. Attachment is based on insecurity, and the search for security in our life is an illusion. You can wish for the future to be like your desires, but your attention must stay in the present.
So at this point, I have committed to only doing what I can for myself, my children and my husband with our present situation. My desire, like most mother's, is preservation of family, to have a loving marriage, and for my husband to find his "old self" again. For he has been lost in a state of negativity, self-loathing, and self-destruct for far too long. That is another story for another day though.
This is also known as the Law of Allowance - think of it as allowing the universe to provide for you what need and desire. It's like getting out of your own way and allowing what is supposed to be, happen. It's so hard to do this but focusing on what you want and repeating it in your head over and over again is really just bringing to light that fact that you haven't gotten what you want yet and gives energy to that. State your desire, let it go and allow the universe/God to provide.
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